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Monday 2009-02-16


This Times article is loathsome. If its loathsomeness isn't obvious on a quick glance, you might like to imagine an article that begins like this:

A Jew man has pleaded guilty to stealing thousands of pounds from a local shop.

Moshe Davidson, who named himself after the Jewish prophet when he converted to the religion, faces up to a year in prison for breaking into the shop and ransacking its supplies of cash.

Davidson, who believes that he is part of God's chosen people, was caught on CCTV smashing down the door and blowing open a large safe.

(Yes, the second word is deliberate; it pretty much parallels the correspondingly barbarous phrasing in the real article. And yes, the transgenderedness of the subject of the real article appears to have precisely as much relevance to her crime as the Jewishness of the subject of my fake one has to his.)

It occurs to me that it's not un-heard-of for newspapers to change their websites, so here for reference is how the article begins at present.

A sex-change woman has pleaded guilty to reckless homicide after her elderly husband was "exercised to death".

Christine Newton-John, 41, who named herself after the singer Olivia Newton-John following her operation, faces up to five years in prison for forcing her exhausted 73-year-old husband to swim in the pool of their apartment complex in Chardon, Ohio.

Newton-John, who was born John Vallandingham, was caught on CCTV dragging James Mason, around the pool by his arms and legs.