security
We're among the many lucky, lucky people who use ntl for phone and internet. So, our latest bill got lost in the post or something, and arrived late. The last time something similar happened, we got cut off without warning, so my wife very sensibly (ha!) decided to pay the bill by phone.
Well, after the obligatory 35-minute phone queue ("your call is important to us, but frankly not very") it turns out that the account is only in my name (fair enough), and so she can't do anything to it without my say-so. Now I'm sure this was supposed to have been fixed the last time, but maybe it times out after, oh, 10 seconds or so. But ... they won't let her pay the phone bill? I mean, what exactly is this supposed to be protecting me against? A nightmare scenario where my wife decides she hates me, runs off with some other man, and evilly, maliciously pays my phone bill. It's just as well I have ntl looking out for my interests here. Yup.
So, what fearsome things do we need to do to establish that my wife is really allowed to pay my phone bill? Answer: um, I have to say hello to the customer "service" representative at the other end of the phone line. I don't have to provide any evidence that I'm me. I don't actually have to say that I'm happy for my wife to pay my phone bill. This is beyond surreal. We have a conversation along the following lines:
Me: Hello.
Droid: I've been speaking to your wife. She wants to pay your phone bill.
Me: Uh-huh.
Droid: So, um, she needs to give us a security code word.
Me: Well, that would be up to her, wouldn't it? Emma, are you still on the line?
Wife: Yes. Um, formaldehyde.
Droid: Thank you. I'm really sorry about this inconvenience.
Me: So, do you need anything else from me?
Droid: No, sir.
Me: Goodbye.
Wow. If Emma had been wanting to pay my phone bill without my consent, she'd have had a really hard time of it finding someone else to impersonate me. Thank goodness for the noble knights of ntl, protecting me from danger!